storming brain...

World is an endless sphere, and the mind is afraid of horizons. And then mind gets split into tiny storms of thought-'lets'.

How frustrating it is when you cannot make your dearest parent or closest friend understand what you feel, or what you intend to do! What is the strange hesitation that stops you from freely expressing your ideas to the very people who share almost every significant moment of your life. Oh! May be that's the way it is meant to be - a painful, incorrigible irony of life. Or perhaps the intertwined sophistication of collective psychology where an individual loses his or her individuality in a tacit assumption that everything will be understood per se, which never happens.

It is a very common and easily visible phenomenon. Your own people will be the last to understand what you are or what you think and the first to discourage your ideas, talents and potential. Every success story has an ingredient of such phenomenon in it. Einstein could never have made it so big in Germany. Ayn Rand wouldn't be 'Ayn Rand' if she had stayed in Soviet Union. Even Swami Vivekananda's true talent was recognized after Chicago. Benjamin Franklin would have died a newspaper seller had he not moved to Philadelphia and London. Bruce Lee, Maria Sharapova, John Lennon, Johnny Nash, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Javed Akhtar... There is a big list of such people who had to face their own people as the first obstacle in their road to success. May be because they were the first in their cult to break free from the tradition, they were the first to pave way beyond the dead end of already set rules which were supposed to guide their lives... But their feathers were too bright to be imprisoned by the senility of conventions and so they flew away and became what they are known as today!

Oh! Pretense, confusion, hypocrisy, madness... Or perhaps it's just me and my schizophrenia talking to each other, understanding none, just trying to impress the world which stares back, beyond reach! Tch! I am tired of running, searching for a meaningful life. I think I will create it on my own now.