Monday, June 30, 2008

s/he'll be loved...

Problem with being a grown up is that a person ends up learning how to pretend, how to say things s/he doesn't mean, how to hide things s/he actually feels. Broken smiles, cheerless eyes - honesty of the face is lost.

Friday, June 27, 2008

low man's lyric...

"Every adult, whether he is a follower or a leader, a member of a mass or of an elite, was once a child. He was once small. A sense of smallness forms a substratum in his mind, ineradicably. His triumphs will be measured against this smallness, his defeats will substantiate it. The questions as to who is bigger and who can do or not do this or that, and to whom—these questions fill the adult’s inner life far beyond the necessities and the desirabilities which he understands and for which he plans." - Erik H. Erikson

peace...

The moment when you reload your rifle. -Bob Dylan.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

weak as i am...

The weak are more likely to make the strong weak than the strong are likely to make the weak strong. -Marlene Dietrich.

Monday, June 23, 2008

creep...

A person does not feel miserable because of the unfavorable, dark and painful things surrounding his or her life. Real cause of misery is the belief which has roots deep down in the heart of the person, that s/he is not capable, not strong enough to make choices or to change things. To reap the crop of confidence and satisfaction one needs to cultivate strength, but if one cultivates weakness, one reaps the harvest of fear and misery.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

dindu's asstrology...

I am a believer of astrology. May be because I was a susceptible kid and I used to hang around with my late-grandfather (may his soul rest in peace) while he prepared the horoscopes for some people and gave harmless advices to other believers about when ‘the eleventh day of shukla paksha is’ or ‘when the full moon really begins’ or ‘when to break the amavasya vrata’ or ‘when the dreadful panchak yoga will end’ etc. A distinguishing skill is always a cool thing to have. Unfortunately grandfather passed away before I could actually learn some advanced tips or tricks. But I received from my grandpa’s legacy one astrology software which could give some charts and generic forecasting about a person if one knows his date, time and place of birth.

I tried impressing Dindu one day with this software. But Dindu didn’t believe in astrology. His mind is pseudo-scientific (because if it was scientific then he surely would have believed in astrology). Questions like ‘how can a planet affect a human being’, ‘if two people are born at the same time, at the same place will they have same life/future’, ‘if planets decide everything then what are we doing here’ etc. inhibit his juvenile intellect. He even went to the extent of insulting astrology by mistyping it ‘asstrology’ whenever we had online discussions on the subject. He didn’t know that astrology is not for knowing the fate of a person, but to plan for the contingencies that arise because of the forces stronger than human beings. It’s like this - if you hear the forecast on the radio that it is going to rain, then you can plan to take umbrella with you. That’s what astrology is about – ‘this is what the big guys (planets, stars, constellations…) are planning in near future, how are you going to deal with it’.

Anyhow, I took Dindu’s date, time and place of birth, fed into this software I had bequeathed, and told him – ‘Machi! From May 11th to June 13th this year, Venus is squaring with Mars and Sun around Gemini, Cancer and Virgo; be careful with the girls, stay at home on Fridays.’ But he didn’t listen to me and eventually he was caught in the heavy rain without the umbrella.

Dindu was hanging around with this girl for a few months now and on Friday the June 13th he took her to a Starbucks somewhere in Chennai. Then they went to watch ‘Gone Baby Gone’ at the local multiplex. Later in the night when Dindu went to drop her home, while she was closing the door of her house Dindu asked ‘Can I kiss you?’ Instead of kissing the gentleman she asked ‘Do you love me?’ It took Dindu some time to gather what just struck him. I know the first thing that would have crossed his mind was my advice ‘be careful with the girls, stay at home on Fridays’. But now it was too late and he had to answer the most frightening question he could imagine.

He tried starting with a smile and a long ‘hmmmmm…’ which was cut short by ‘Do you love me or not?’

Dindu said ‘I don’t want to answer this question because it…’

The girl snapped ‘Then why do want to kiss me? Why are we wasting all this time? $*** $** $*** **$*blah blah**$$**$*$*$’ I can imagine it was all special character conversation for a while. I mean, we all know a lot of people get impressed by such stereotype melodramas of the movies and TV serials. She snapped the door in front of Dindu and tambi’s Ethmoid bone had narrow escape from a lifetime fracture. From the moment of door snapping, for three days Dindu didn’t come out of his home. Apparently, the girl had mailed him the unprintable epitaphs of their friendship. Dindu didn’t know what got her suddenly, he had asked only for a kiss, not for all her hair!

After listening to Dindu’s tragic booby trap situation he had got into, I tried consoling the man.

Me: Come one man! Forget what happened. Move on.

Dindu: No macha! It was my mistake also. I shouldn’t have asked for the kiss.

Me: Oh come on man! That’s no fault of yours. But are you looking only for sex or do you see a future of this relationship?

Dindu: I don’t know man, there could have been a future, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I had just asked. God knows if I had kissed her without asking I would have been dead by now.

Me: If you don’t want ‘only sex’ then what are you really looking for?

Dindu: I don’t know man! May be I just want to know more about her! I don’t know her completely, how can I say whether I love her or not. Now she is not even giving me a chance to explain what I feel.

Me: Well, you could have also asked her whether she loves you or not!

Dindu: And if she had said ‘yes’ what would I say. I don’t want to make a commitment now and later back out. And she does not understand this.

Me: Well, you need to identify what is the basis of your relationship or friendship or whatever sinking-ship it is now!

Dindu: ?

Me: I mean people become friends with each other because of various reasons. Two people complain about the same thing or hate the same thing – they become friends. Two people are afraid of same thing – they become friends. Two people gossip about the same thing/people – they become friends. Such friendships don’t last longer than a Twenty20 match. What kind are you?

Dindu: Well, I can’t say. But this one was a little stronger. Our likes and dislikes matched, though some conflicts were there, yet we are, actually were easy going – but I don’t know, I won’t say it was so strong that I can commit myself for life.

Me: Then you have to tell her the same thing. See, the real test of the ‘-ship’ is when you both face challenges together, trust each other with almost like a bird trusts its wings – otherwise you cannot really go anywhere with the ‘-ship’. People stay together for all their life, but very few develop a strong relationship.

Dindu: Right man! But she is not even answering my calls. I don’t want both of us looking like fools in the future who made a stupid decision because of storming hormones or whatever TV dramas and movies they watched. I don’t want both of us to become each other’s weakness. I want her to become my strength and in turn I will become her strength.

Me: Macha! You already know the answer. Just let her be with herself for sometime. Let her logical self take over her emotional self and then you go and talk to her face to face. If she understands your point then you will know you can go forward, if she doesn’t understand and starts bullifying you, then you will know she is NOT the ‘one’.

Dindu: Ok man! I will do that. But before talking to her, I will give you a call to know if that is the right time for me to go and talk…

Me: What do you mean? I have already given you whatever I could say about the subject…

Dindu: No macha! I mean about the astrology thing. I mean, the day I go and talk to her, my planets should be at the right places…

And only I can imagine how happy I was seeing Dindu type astrology right this time!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

let go...

There are decisive moments when I ask 'how will it affect my future?' I allow the fear of distant uncertainty decide my present, when I should actually let the certainty of present shape my future.

Monday, June 16, 2008

viva la vida...

People are running towards a dead-end. How does it matter if one hits the wall today, yesterday or tomorrow. Faster one runs, harder he's going to get hit...

only time...

It's always wise to get a good glance of the reality before cultivating any dream. Because...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

what life could mean to you...

What Life Could Mean to You - a book by Alfred Adler

father forgets...

For the young of today, who will become old of tomorrow:

Father Forgets by W Livingstone Larned.

Monday, June 9, 2008

nostalgia@desktop...

Eye@5042kms
Eye@9.76kms
Eye@1.46 kms
Eye@377 m
Eye@101 m
And Nostalgia...

Monday, June 2, 2008

idea(tic) indigestion...

Dindu isn’t very happy with his legendary name – Dindigul Krishnamachary Senthil Santhosh Srinivasan. Somebody told him his name sounds more like IUPAC name of an organic compound, something like 1-iso-2-cyno-tetra-butanoic acid. I told him - ‘what’s in a name machi, dindu who lives in chennai will remain dindu by any other name’. It gave him some confidence and last time when he left the conversation he was headed towards the beach near his house, for solitude or for sinking his ass in Bay of Bengal - no idea, until...

After a few days, Dindu pings me long distance and says:

Dindu: Macha! I have found out a great secret of life.

Me: Hey!!! Good man! What is it? Some fountain of youth or something, or some money tree, or a power to read other people’s minds, or the answer to 'why-the-hell-am-I-doing-my-job'?

Dindu: Tch, no da! It’s the omnipresent law, the simple fact, which is so common that common man fails to see it.

Me: Duh! What’s that?

Dindu: A common man sees other people the same way s/he sees a tree.

Me: Ohhhkk!!! Silence for a couple of seconds… more silence…

Me: So??? What does that mean?


Dindu: What I mean is, when an average person comes in contact with some other person or thing, s/he judges the person or the thing with the immediate knowledge about the person or the thing and the way that information is correlated to the person who is making the judgment.

Me: Ok! I don’t understand a thing.

Dindu: Figuratively, a person looks at the branches of the tree and says tree is like this or like that. Very few care about the roots of the tree. Also, the judgment might differ depending on the current state of interest of the person.

Me: How?

Dindu: Assume there is a huge tree with lot of branches and leaves. Now, if a person wants to take shelter from the sun or the rain and comes across this tree, this is in interest of the person – the tree is a haven. If a person wants to build a house on the same spot as the tree or a person’s kite is stuck in the tree, then the tree becomes trouble. You see?

Me: So? How does this relate to person to person relations?

Dindu: Similarly, when a person comes in contact with other person, the quality and strength of this contact link depends on their immediate state of interest and their immediate knowledge about each other.

Me: But who has the time to dig the earth and look at the roots?

Dindu: That’s the reason of failure of so many relationships. It’s like two beggars begging each other assuming that the other is an emperor. Eventually they come to realize that both of them are beggars and then they fall apart (source). Moreover, if you are looking for diamonds you’ve got to dig, if you want dust it’s everywhere!

Me: Whoa, that's heavy! I will get indigestion man. Phew! What the heck are you eating these days?

Dindu: Dae! Nothing da... I am just spending more time in the beach…

Me: Tch! Ok da, after this over dose of your brain, I need to go pinch a loaf…

Dindu: Dae fu****r!

Me: Can’t stop man!!! Meanwhile check this. Bye bye…

Dindu: Puranboka. Wait!!!!