fear is fun...

The knowledge is not complete until one relinquishes whatever he has learned. Mind is like a glass of water. It cannot hold more than its capacity. Whether it goes to a small pond or to an ocean it cannot fill more than it can hold. The only way it can own everything is by breaking itself and dissolving into the ocean. Sushil's blog says it in hindi here.

Since few days there is this strange fear of death revolving around me. Questions of almost meaningless absurdities are disturbing the peace of mind. Inevitable it is, but I don't want to escape from my fears anymore. After being scared of my fears for sometime now I have started getting intrigued by these questions. What will become of me after I die? Body will feed the earth, but where will I go? What will become of me? What is it that is floating in my head? What am I? Who am I?

Lord Krishna said a lot about this in second chapter of Bhagvad Gita:

Nainam Chhindanti ShastraNi, Nainam dahatii pavakah
Na Chainam kledtyantapoh, na shoshayatii marutah...

&

na jayate mriyate va kadachin nayam bhutva bhavita va na bhuyah
ajo nityah shashvato 'yam puraNo na hanyate hanyamane shariire...

It intrigues me now what this actually means. Just knowing these words is not enough until that fear has subsided from my total existence. My mission has transformed into becoming a person who has overcome all his fears. I want to make my fear fun.

This endless journey - when will it end?