Dindu is the alias of my good old (by age and agility) friend. His name (full as well as alias) has a long story behind it, about which I will write in detail later, but for record his full name is Dindigul Krishnamachary Senthil Santhosh Srinivasan. I know what you are thinking, but neither does he have five different heads or faces, nor does he suffer from MPD. But he has been suffering from being born in a conservative south Indian family since long. During fresher period in college, when his peers were dining out in the mess after healthy ragging sessions, Dindu was still found explaining & spelling out his name to his north Indian seniors! He was baptized Dindu after his wing mates found that he could not sleep without at least five pillows (FYI… Dindu stands for 'pillow' in Thamizh) around his flabby body - one below his feet, two stuck between his groin, one pressed under his ass and one embraced in his arms, but none below his head!!!
Dindu was serious when I last met him during a quick weekend coffee at a café shop. He was looking around at the happily-coffee-sipping-couples and suddenly his melancholy became conspicuous.
He said "I think... I *NEED NOT*... get married man… Period… What about you... Do you want to get married in life or not???"I was left wondering by the length of silence he left between each sentence.
I said "Dae! You're making me uncomfortable! You think you NEED NOT get married, ok understood! But don't ask me about my getting married. I haven't made up my mind and I don't have any intentions in near future... of making up my mind. Moreover it's more than a question of NEED/NEED NOT. Phew!!! Tambi! Drink your coffee and enjoy the weather around. You want a cookie?"
But the @$hole made me think! The question that bothers almost every youngster, especially those (I included) who have relatively achieved quite a success in their respective social subset, have a steady cash flow, and according to their society there is nothing left for them to do except get married and get 'you-know-who' some grandchildren to play with!
Well yes! There are certainly some advantages of getting married. If you are married, people don't think you are a homo/lesbian. In your professional life you are considered more credible and committed. People would know that you are the guy who is going to stick around till the end because you have got lots of bills to pay coming month. Moreover you get a life partner who will go with you everywhere, so you will not have to ask some stranger to look after your baggage when you want to go to the loo at an airport or bus station. Most important thing is that if you are going out of station for a long time, you will not have to worry about dumping your stuff at some friend's place. Precisely, your life is settled and you are a happily-ever-after kind of man/woman.
But there are visibly some of the disadvantages also which are too important to be missed. For example, you will not be allowed to smoke and drink beer watching India Australia T20 match. Eating pizza is an offense. Every weekend you will have to go out shopping, not to shop, but to lift the carnage your missus made in the shopping mall! Hanging out with your unmarried friends in bars and pubs becomes an emotional crime you make against your beloved spouse. You will not be able to do things which you could do only when you were alone! Often you will be reminded of the six packs SRK has and that you don't work out and that you should! Kids… After five years you will have to clean the shit of your kids who regard your lap nothing more than a public toilet. In a nut shell, your frequency of saying 'give-me-a-break' will increase exponentially, from once in a month to once in every day. (Note: These experiences are as told by other happily-married and not-so-happily-married men).
Then… why people marry? The reasons people marry vary, but usually include one or more of these: procreation, social and economical stability, family formation, emotional security, legitimizing sexual relationship or public declaration of love etcetera.
Procreation…? Well, there are already more than one billion asses around in this country. Thousands new come out every day to burden the limited resources, as if getting manufactured in an assembly line. Perhaps, we Indians were busy learning non-violence and celibacy when we should have been learning how to use condoms! So, if you think that nature has given you this obligation to keep the human species alive… rethink, let me assure you that given the current rate of supply & demand of homosapiens, there won't be a shortage of this inventory for many years from now. Let those who are already there absorb first. So people who marry just to have their family tree expanded – they are not doing very good thing for the society!
Social & Economical stability…? Hmmm! That could be a valid digestible reason, given you search right kind of in-laws for yourself. Get hold of the son/daughter of some big shot in government services, or some reality champ or a businessman, or even a movie star (but make sure you have some back-up plans). Well, getting a working spouse isn't bad idea at all, unless you are not ready to tolerate some attitude. Or if you want some 'no attitude' spouse you narrow down your options further.
Large numbers of people marry to chaste their sexual frustration which, in middle & lower class India, is possible only after getting married. Well, I can bet that if sex was not so taboo a subject and not so hard to get in our Indian culture, there would have been less than half (if not less) of the marriages than they are happening today.
Blessed are those couples who found their 'soul-mate' in each other and so have taken the next step of saying 'I DO…' That kind of marriage makes the most sense. But behold! We have already had so many 'love marriage/arranged married' group discussions earlier, hajar times, haven't we? No offense to the happily-married couples, whichever mode they have chosen! Peace be with them!
And so I said "Dae Dindu! I think it is a little complicated to understand something without experiencing it. Why don't you get married and see what happens. Give it a shot machchi! Be a man! I am with you!"
Dindu said "He he he… Poda!! If it comes to experimenting why me? Why not you?"
I - "Puramboke! *You* were the one who brought up the topic, *you* were the one who made me think, *you* were the one who wanted the answer and now *you* are the one not ready to take the advice! b@$***! Then *you* will be the one who pays the bill!"
Dindu (imitating Rajini) - "Tambi! Katam! Katam!"
PS: By the way have you ever thought that hole of the a$$ is actually whole of the a$$, rest of it is either bum or buttock?
4 comments:
Dear Rahul,
I have started hating critical thinking about life. These things make a simple live complex. Life is for living, enjoying.
No matter how nicely and logically Sunita Williams explains me the life in space, or Sachin tells me how it feels in the middle of the ground when millions of eyes are watching you play, I can not feel it. I feel it when I do it. Of course, an individual has to make a decision what to do and what not. Sadly your blog does not tell the REAL benifits of having a perfect life partner. I won't attempt to tell as it is a matter of feeling and can not be expressed in words.
Then how does an individual decide whether to get married or not?? Well, there is inctinct, inner voice, hunch or gut feeling whatever you call it. It is the most trustworthy thing for any decisions in life.
:) nice post! a dilemma which everyone faces in life, be it a guy or a gal!
came bak to say something, but saw that sushil has already done that... i guess every person goes thru this dilemma, but when you find the perfect person, you start focusing on the positives more than the negatives. as sushil says, it can only be felt. its like 'if you want a rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain'! :)how do you find the perfect person? i believe i will trust my gut instinct on that. :)
as i tried to convey that this is a dedication to happily-married and happily-unmarried people... still points well taken! :) i confess that i was biased to the negative but then... that's me! ;)
@sushil! no offense for the married people sir!! :)
@priya! thanks for the rainbow thing!
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