a staple a day...

(I)

Almost every corporate office has a cafeteria which significantly affects the daily routine of corporate workers. And especially of those health sensitive bachelors(M/F), whose weight has been increasing like GDP of emerging markets since they joined the industry, but the actual flab growth is seen only around the Special Digestive Zones. Quality of the cafeteria and subsequently the health of company's work force can be sized to a great extent by looking at the numbers and ratios in associate delight surveys, workplace satisfaction surveys and attrition rate surveys.

It is an inspiring sight watching people spoon off the oil floating over 'daal fry', dusting off raw 'aata' from half baked 'rotis', soaking dry the oily 'pooris' with paper napkins, taking out small pieces of 'paneer' from the 'paneer butter masala' and at the same time discussing how the rupee appreciation will affect net quarterly revenue of the company and what will be the impact on the variable component of their salary. Maximum of the crowd fill their plates with every dish in the menu, most of which goes uneaten. Well, when there is unlimited grub available for mere fifty rupees who will not compete to maximize his or her consumption? Food sucks anyhow, but wasting it is not a good thing to do. If only hunger could be understood – the bhookh – 'pet ki', 'atma ki', 'jism ki'… he he he…

(II)

Once upon a pleasant time in ancient India, scholars (today's nutritionists) had defined the diets for every work group to maximize their productivity. Brahmins abstained from all the food which tickled their senses to dangerous levels. Kshatriyas, accordingly, had a predefined dietary routine for their strenuous physical requirements. But many years later, when Brahmins were sitting beside Kshatriyas doing code review and quality audits, there was confusion on the proposed diets which could not revised in due time. When Kshatriyas ate their chicken biryani in front of their Brahmin counterparts, Brahmins were in confusion – we do the same work as Kshatriyas then why can't we eat the juicy butter chicken?

(III)

PS: One 'tandoori chicken' PJ I came across recently:

Q:: What is the height of unemployment?
A:: Spider's web in a prostitute's pussy! =))...