Monday, July 23, 2007

it thinks in me...

The strange thing happening these days is that I can see my mind thinking. That is, I no longer think, now it thinks in me. There are ear piercing screams, indecipherable whispers, random thoughts which have no meaning, images from past, fantasies of future and above all a fear of unknown.

Another strange thing is that it is thinking inside me even when I don't want to think. It does not listen to me. It keeps mumbling. Body also is going through some changes. Psychology has a direct link with the biology (the way rupee appreciation has link with salaries of IT professionals). The more mind gets lost, the body suffers.

This leads me to another thought. Strangely, good life has become synonymous with good paycheck. But ideally there is no relation between the two. A farmer may be living a better life than a CEO; an IT professional may be living a better life than a spiritual guru! There are no defined boundaries here.

Deep inside there are fears. Fear of change, of death, of taking risks! Even though I know their futility, I feel unable to change them. I have become a prisoner of myself!