veni vedi LSE...

There are some very few people, after talking to them you feel delighted and refreshed even though your intimate views differ greatly. Dindu is not one of them.

Dindu: laughs… What? Where did you go? Laughs… People go to London to visit Thames, Tower of London, London Eye, Oxford Street, Leicester, Birmingham and Greenwich kind of world famous places…! More than this desi-lads go there to visit a strip-club. And where are you saying you visited?

Me: LSE man. London School of Economics and Political Science!

Dindu: London school of economics aa? What were you doing there? Who allowed you inside?

Me: I just went inside. To see the place where JFK, KR Narayanan, Amartya Sen, Bertrand Russell and GB Shaw kind of people once studied.

Dindu: laughs… laughs… laughs… What for man? You could have gone to some pub or some stripclub man… They studied there, fine. That doesn't mean you should go there.

Me: Dae! Luus paiyya... See man, the learning in our lives has come to a virtual dead end, so I was just thinking of studying in LSE in my next life. I thought that I will get some good energy from the place and that will help me in my after life. I even bought essays of Milton Friedman and LSE publication of Macroeconomics from the shop there in the campus.

Dindu: laughs… laughs… laughs… a***ole!

Me: f**k yourself man! Hung up the phone

Dindu couldn’t digest the idea of me visiting LSE. But for me LSE was more important than anything else. I haven’t visited much of the London. Not because I didn’t get the opportunity but because I don’t have any desire left to roam around like a tourist and get my pictures clicked in front of buildings, statues and pictures to show them off later. Duh! Nope!

There is a strange dissatisfaction in life which makes me depressed every now and then. I fall to the levels of fatalistic thoughts. Tch! I am not so weak to accept my fate, and I am not so strong to create it on my own. And so, I keep searching for something.

I mean... if a person is asleep and dreaming and his sleep gets disturbed, you can give him a more comfortable warm bed and better dreams to get him back to sleep. But when a person knows he is asleep and dreaming and he is disturbed that he is dreaming and he wants to wake up, what would you do with him...

Anyhow. It's difficult to understand one's own self. Long way to go. The world awaits.

Me@AOL...

I had no idea what I was going to experience when I boarded the flight to Bangalore on Jan 11th. I was confused and stressed to my point of breaking, victim of the air, light and sound pollution of the fast growing city, a cause and effect of fast spreading emotional pollution and in desperate need of a healthy break; formerly I planned to go to A&N Islands (inspired and envied by some beautiful people around me), but then thought that I required a deeper change than just a superficial change of only the place. I needed a change from inside.

And so I decided to go for the advance course of art of living at the Bangalore ashram. As I entered the ashram campus, first thing I got to see was Sri Sri Ravi Shankar himself. It happens once in thousand years you see. That such a person takes birth and with his knowledge and conviction brings a positive change in life of millions of other people around the world. And lucky I, I got to see him in person. There were people from all over the globe. Even those who did not understand English. People from Russia, China and Japan had specially brought a translator with them to understand the instructions and discourses.

The real thing started the next morning. The advance course commenced and everyone was supposed to observe complete silence till end of the course i.e. you must not speak even a single word, not even make any eye contact with the other people. I was no way ready for that. Words started accumulating in my brain so fast that I thought I was going to explode with them soon. But I survived somehow. From morning 5 till evening 10 days were full of activities and more and more meditation. Sit cross legged, take your attention here, inhale like this, exhale like that and observe your brain… phew! My immunity could not stand the Bangalore cold and this rigorous practice. I had to return on the third day itself.

After returning, I slept the whole day as if there was no tomorrow. After coming back to senses, I only remember Sri Sri’s eyes looking into mine, and that soft touch of His feet on my hands. I was fortunate and I was changed. Having a guru, a guide, a coach, a teacher is quintessential for the holistic growth of an individual. But everyone has different criterion for the Master. And everyone is not very fortunate to have a Master. My three days stay in the Bangalore ashram gave me a huge insight into my flaws and strengths. And I realized that when it comes to patience, trust and adaptability – I suck! Like hell.

Anyhow, it was my fortune that I saw the living Buddha right in front of my eyes, listened to his discourses live and even touched his feet. Wherever he goes, joy follows him! Had I been a little more adaptable, I could have successfully finished the course and the silence as well. But… :(...

the pondy diary....

Nov 8:

Reached Periyamudalayarchavadi (some 8 km from Pondicherry) at around 1500 hours, overshot the actual destination by some 3 kilometers… Flight, being 'Simply Dhakkan', was as usual late but when it comes to a ride on ECR (East Coast Road) you forget everything! Learnt a good lesson on value of money – Rs 55/- you can reach from Chennai to Pondicherry (distance 150 km) in a bus, Rs 50/- you can reach from 3km away from Periyamudalayarchavadi to Periyamudalayarchavadi in an auto… WTF!

Called up the evergreen guest house at auroville and took directions to reach there. Apparently the lady named 'Tamar' had sent me a mail regarding guesthouse availability which never landed on my gmail account. So she was a little pissed off when I called her out of the blue. Anyhow, pigs is pigs. I hired one screwed up Atlas Gold line for Rs 25/- a day (Rs 500/- deposit) and started paddling my way towards what would be my accommodation for next 3 nights. Damn! 5 kilometers into the forest, I was sweating like a sick pig. Have to cut down smoke and start working out.

The bearded fellow named Ameer (an Israeli national) showed me the place. Rs 200/- per day, no fan/AC, no doors, no attached toilets… but it was worth more than 200 if you ask me. That's called marginal utility of money. I froze the deal, dumped my bag in the hut. Being Diwali (in Tamilnadu), the whole place had gone into a holiday. That meant nowhere to eat before main-road! The hosts offered me a colorful honey-oat sandwich and a banana and that was all for the lunch. Household had 3 pet dogs – 1 black Labrador, 1 black & yellow greyhound and 1 black & white Doberman. Dogs liked me… especially the Labrador called 'layala'. I am also going to have one Labrador for myself one day - black or yellow!

Dinner time… had to cycle another 10 kilometers (up + down) for two 'paranthas' and some unidentifiable 'sabjii' with curd. Add one 300 ml apple juice and it becomes Rs 70/-. WTF!!! 2100 hours and I am on my way back into the forest. Fuck! No lights… pitch black… somehow managed to get back to the hut with my Motorola C168's LCD light! Sweated profusely… desperately needed sleep after mosquitoes spared me… will need a motor bike tomorrow if I want to return to Hyderabad alive… you see, when survival is at stake you don't go around writing essays, poetry and appreciating beauty... you try to survive... eyes closed…

Nov 9:

Eyes open… 8 in the morning… Where am I? Who am I?

After regaining consciousness, headed towards visitor's center for breakfast… ate like pig… met another yellow Labrador there… poor fellow seemed abandoned by its owner… he looked like an enlightened old dog you see, with all serenity and love it showed despite being sick and hungry… shared some food with him… came back… Mosquitoes have also become familiar now and seem bored with my blood… looks like I am adapting fast… sleep…

1400 hours… Where am I? Who am I?

Bullshit! I need a bike… screw the 'shaan ki sawari'… surrendered the cycle… got one splendor for Rs 90/- a day (Rs 500/- deposit)… Phew!! 'Ab jaan mein jaan aayee'… Lunch at Beach Café… Rice and Fish… slurp… slurp! Back to hut… sleep…

1900 hours… the neighbor comes to the common kitchen… (me living just above the kitchen)… name Emon… Age 40-50… six packs… tattooed biceps… cyclist… teacher at auroville kindergarten… makes himself a fruit salad and herbal tea… back to his hut some 50 meters away from mine… Damn! Really need to cut down smoke and start working out!

Went out splendor-fully… got myself three apples and one bottle of water… one apple and one glass of hot water for dinner… 2030… I am asleep…

Nov 10:

What a wonderful morning... Had a healthy defecation… metabolism is working good… one apple and one glass of hot water works…

Had a nice talk with Natasha (Yoshi's, the host on my first visit to auroville, daughter)... She, also, was a teacher in the kindergarten. She told me about how they have re-forested the whole auroville land. She has been living there for more than 15 years with her husband (alas!) who takes care of the foresting the waste land…

Booked my slot to visit 'Matri-Mandir' in the evening… Local guys are thinking that I am a foreigner… Enjoying the unearned glamour! They should not eavesdrop someday me reciting Super Star Rajini's punch dialogs…

1600 hours… the most amazing place I have ever seen… the central chamber of the 'Matri-Mandir'… one beam of natural solar light descending from a heliostat on the top upon a 400kg crystal globe… That is the only source of light in the huge (HUGE) hall… the hall is perfectly sound-proof… this is the place where you will find real silence… But only 15 minutes are allowed… shit!!!

This was the most amazing experience of life… will keep me alive for long… one apple and one glass of hot water… sleep…

Nov 11:

Nothing more to do now… flight at 2000 hours…

Paid off all the bills… boarded a non ECR bus (which goes via airport)… all 3 nights of serenity and silence was gone in 3 hours of bus journey… all that shouting and screaming, that too in an alien language… suddenly I remember the incident of some bus being burnt somewhere in Tamilnadu…

Bus got punctured on the way… had to wait for some 45 minutes in a god forsaken place… while other passengers boarded other buses to continue their journey, I didn't dare to get packed in those already 'festive-packed' buses…

Coincidence happened… met an old colleague while she was returning in some other bus from somewhere to Chennai… even she said I was looking like a foreigner! Come on yaar… 25 years and I haven't even touched foreign soil… forget foreign soil, I haven't even touched a girl except at the palm of her right hand with the palm of my right hand… how can you do this to me… how can u…

Another lesson on value of money – Rs 45 to come in a non ECR bus from Pondy to Chennai… Rs 150/- for a 'too hot' veg puff and a 'too cold' cold coffee with ice-cream at airport… saw India winning against Pakistan sitting on a luggage trolley…

Flight was delayed again… reached Hyderabad… Same old shit begins from tomorrow again…

Journey was awesome… lived almost like an animal… away from the mayhem of Diwali crackers… This was the best Diwali I remember after last year's… listened to my voices for all the time and found out that 'unless you know what you want, it doesn't matter what you get…'

one about diwali & desperation...

back from kalinga...

I visited Orissa last weekend. Landed in Bhubneshwar on Friday night and a lush green land overcast by dark clouds welcomed me to its seemingly never ending monsoon showers. Landing was bumpy (in words of the captain of DN677 flight) and clouds were so heavy that I could not see where to the plane was declining until just a few meters above ground I saw the runway of Biju Patnaik airport. Approaching dusk complimented the darkness of clouds and it was love at first sight with the weather and greenery. I slept away the night, letting rain drops beat the asbestos off the narrow and poorly built roads of the city.

Though the rain was intimidating my travel plans, still early next morning, I started off for the Sun Temple at Konark. It was an hour journey from Bhubneshwar to the famous world heritage sight that could have given the Taj Mahal a tough competition for being seventh wonder of the world had the weather and time not wore it off its beauty and grandeur. Temple was built under the regime of Ganga Dynasty king Narsimha somewhere around 1200 AD devoted to the Sun god. One thing I inferred from the temple’s architecture was that, sex-wise our ancestors were very wise. The 800 years old erotic architecture on temple walls gives a healthy impression of the lavish life the king lived.

I was also awed to imagine that how emperors worked (or made others work) so hard towards preserving their lives in form of temples etc for the future could remember them. How there has been little change in the fundamentals of life since the beginning. How today, even though the life is running on wheels still the direction is missing and every path leads to infinity from everywhere.

I tried to gather some new experiences too. For instance, I smoked the local Oriya Beedi, tobacco wrapped around some leaf! People eat lot of ‘paan’ in Orissa. So to have a local feel I ate lot of ‘paan’ including one with beetle leaves! God bless my lungs and throat. The calcium carbonate (choona) has blistered my tongue!

After appreciating the grandeur of Konark, I headed towards one of the most important religious places of Hindus – Jagannath Puri. Considered to be the only living god on earth who savors ‘somarasa’ (the heavenly drink) everyday - the lord Jagannath (lord of the world) is very famous for granting liberation to His sincere devotees. But visiting the temple didn’t quite work out for me. Before meeting the lord, his official peons (informally called ‘pandas’) met me outside the gate and liberation was postponed there and then. After getting stained with ‘choona’ of 80 rupees, somehow I escaped from that place littered with money-thirsty crows. I don’t know, once I had been to this Baina beach in Goa (red light area), but there wasn’t much difference in the way I felt after coming out of Baina beach and Lord Jagannath temple - I was happy that I escaped, I was guilty that why the hell did I go there…! I had gone to the temple to clean my sins, but it felt as if I have sinned by going there! This temple visit became another tale of frustration for the attitude of Indian Hindus towards religion and God. Anyhow! Towards the end of the day it was time for India-Australia semi finals at ‘pantha nivas’ hotel near Puri beach and happily – India came out in flying colors.

It rained heavily in the night and next morning the wind was cyclonic! The plan was to visit the biggest brackish water lagoon of India – the Chilka Lake! I reached Satapada – the place from where one can see the awesome lake in its full grandeur. But unfortunately due to last night’s rains and heavy wind the Bay of Begal had flooded into the lake and nobody was ready to go in with their boats. Disappointed, I started back to Bhubneshawar. But on the way back I discovered a place called ‘barakudi’ (a small village some 5 kms away from the main road) where I met a nice Hindi speaking villager who instantly agreed to take me into the lake on his wooden boat. Price was fixed and I was on my way into the wild lake. The waves were hitting the boat furiously and after speeding in for around 45 minutes when I could no longer stand the anger of the waves, I asked the fellow (named Duryodhan) to take me back! From Duryodhan I came to know that ‘Barakudi’ is worth a visit in winter months when around 200 species of migratory birds from all around the world fill the lake which is at that time calm and has flushed all the flooded water into the sea.

After that adventurous boat ride, I headed back to Bhubneshwar. On the way back there was this place called ‘Dhauligiri’ – where around 2300 years ago the Great Ashoka lay down the weapons of violence and embraced Buddhism after the bloodshed of Kalinga war. This was the most amazing and inspiring place on this visit. Indian government built a ‘pagoda’ on this hill in 1972 with Orissa’s trademark tigers-statue guarding its gates. The pagoda has four idols of Buddha in four different postures. (Beware! You may find some ‘pandas’ here also. Don’t encourage them. Just ask them to f**k off…) The weather was complementing the moment of greatness. Dark clouds, lush green fields and muddy ‘daya’ river… One can understand what made Ashoka leave violence and embrace Buddhism. I saw the rock on which Ashoka wrote his edicts in ‘brahmi’ script and the elephant mouth he carved symbolizing the Buddha in one of his forms (Gajattame) where he was conceived by his mother in her womb in elephant form.

I didn’t feel like leaving the place, but it was getting dark and it was about to rain so I headed back to the city. On the way I thought of visiting the ‘Linga Raj’ temple but before I could step out of the car, the God’s crows surrounded the vehicle and I had to postpone the liberation once again indefinitely. Feelings remained unchanged as described before.

I had a couple of hours to spare before ending the day, so I thought of exploring the city malls. One thing is pretty clear, once you are into the cities and into the shopping malls, there is hardly any difference in any state or country except the language at a few places. Maximum of the times it is the remote outskirts of the thriving cities that give any place its unique identity!

On my way back to Hyderabad next morning, when I was reading the free magazine of Air Deccan flights, I realized I missed the Nandan Kanan wild life sanctuary which is just 18 kms away from Bhubneshwar. On that sad note, I am preparing with more research for my next trip…