choices...

Dindu was aware of his emotional insecurity. Frequently he would fall into his negative self and lose all his energy to fight back. Handling emotions had never been easy for him especially when he grew up and emotions started becoming stronger and choices more complicated. Relationships and family meant nothing more than an emotional liability. He could never draw strength from his family and was mostly left alone in making important choices of his life, the choices he thought he would never have to make. Somehow he was surviving, but he barely felt alive.

Jay had come in his life a year ago. She was a pain in the beginning, with all uncomfortable questions and those curious, honest eyes. But slowly a bond started building between the two. Dindu could speak openly to her, which evaporated his hardened feelings and his heart felt lighter. Jay was always happy to be a listener. After a few months, Dindu had reached the threshold where friendship starts transforming into a relationship. He was feeling emotionally more stable and alive for the first time in many years. He had decided to let her know how he felt about her.

He still remembered the morning he had thought he would let her know. A strange aura had descended on her face that day. She looked beautiful, much prettier than she usually was. The same morning Jay had introduced him to her fiancée. Dindu remembered that he had managed to smile and congratulate them both and wished them luck. They got married a few months later. Dindu had excused himself from attending the wedding because he had been transferred to a different city. The day before he left the city, he wrote in his diary:

May be the real question is ‘When it will be’ and not ‘Who it will be’. It will be hard. It was a tough choice…