in the darkness of my mind
through the weakness of my desires
when all my restless soul could do
was just hold on until the dawn
my heart squeezed and
infused a purposeful life
into my aimless existence
I held eternity in my hands
that soft touch of
all possibilities and little certainty
all senses, every emotion
intense, weak, fearful and brave
all at the same time
promises filled with fear
love filled with anger and jealousy
but still caring
with that sweet squeeze in my heart
for just that moment
I lost and then found myself
I pledged my heart and then let myself fall
this fear freezing around my heart
making pain melt in my eyes
this anger rubbing all over my throat
why don't I just let my hope die
and end this forever..
Opening lines from Gregory David Robert's Shantaram:
"It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realized, somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, I was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. It doesn't sound like much, I know. But in the flinch and bite of the chain, when its all you have got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. And the choice you make, between hating and forgiving,can become the story of your life."
To the unknown man at the Tower Hill underground station ATM - you were withdrawing money in front of me in the queue and left in a hurry. When I tried to put my debit card in the machine, it started beeping. You had forgotten to take your cash from the machine. I tried to find you but you were lost in the crowd and all the backs looked the same to me. Anyways, don’t worry. I know it would be impossible to find you now. So I have passed that money to a charity group in your name (which I don’t know). May the goodness of the deeds that that money gets used in; return to you in form of blessings!
What has happened to me?
What is this heaviness in my thoughts?
What is this guilt in my actions?
What is this wastefulness in the choices I make?
What is this hopelessness in my ambitions?
What is this sadness in every breath?
What for is this anger in my eyes?
Vanity?
in the darkness of my mind
